So now I'm a cleaner.
I got the job from a conversation with a drunk man on a Tuesday evening.
He took my number and now I have a job.
His first text told me to stand outside the Tower Bakery at 8.15 wearing clothes that I did not care for.
I had to wait for a blue fiat van.
At 8.30 the van rolled up spewing soap suds out of its exhaust pipe and mops out the windows.
My first job was to clean the radiators in an office up the Conchie Road.
I brought in my own toothbrush to get into the wee cracks.
I didn't brush my teeth afterwards.
A woman told me that she had never seen a radiator so vigorously and emotionally cleaned.
I wanted to tell her that I had a degree.
Yesterday I cleaned a flat in the hilltown.
I had to make an oven sparkle using only Harpic and some Tesco Value dish cloths.
The grease was 3cm thick and there was no running water in the house.
Henry my hoover maintained his smile for the whole day to keep my spirits up.