Friday 24 August 2012

Squid Spermatophores

I totally did not expect anything to come up when I typed 'Pregnant in the mouth' into Google.

You gotta have faith



I believe her

Gagged



Signing into Ebay is always a good indication of my own personality as the recommendations pop up on the left hand side. Generally it is a musty selection of old suitcases and veggie cookbooks however yesterday they were of an entirely different nature. All the items recommended seemed to be either gimp masks or gagging balls. As far as I can remember I have never looked these up on Ebay before, however it did remind me of a project I did many years ago on the idea of silence, freedom of speech and gagged women in pornography. I spent the day gagging myself in various different ways (for anyone considering the papier mache technique I wouldn't recommend it- far too itchy). 

The concept of freedom of speech is currently being questioned in various ways in the press, one of which being the controversial pictures of Prince Harry in the buff on holiday in Las Vegas. The Sun 'Britain's favourite newspaper' (in their own words) are defending their right to publish nudey pictures of Harry cavorting in a hotel room and *gasp* having fun during a game of strip snooker. "It is freedom of the press to publish these photos!" they bleat, brandishing copies of their 'special collectors edition' rag to the weary camera.  I slow clap at the Sun's attempt to argue the importance of the role of truth and freedom of the Press (Leveson Enquiry anyone?). I wonder if it is instead due to their earnest sweaty need to make money money money more money ahhhh money more please yum money. 

Back to Harry or 'Hanky Panky Hazza' as I think he should be known. "How dare he?" I hear you ask. "He is a Prince! Third in line to the throne! He should bluddddy well act like it! I myself am appalled by the shocking nature of these pictures. They make me want to wring the necks of every God fearing swan in the country in a fit of blind anger. I see why Sun readers must be spinning in their white van seats. But this is more due to the fact that: 1. They are pretty bad quality and so therefore impossible to wank to 2. I personally don't really want to see HP Hazza in particular clutching his scrote. I am sure it is a lovely scrote, however it's not really my favourite one. I would much prefer The Duke of Edinburgh's  for example. Much more entertaining.

But REALLY. The only Prince I suscribe to is the Little one. (although I don't really want to see him naked either in case all the loveliness stores in my mind are destroyed) And wait, I forgot! I don't buy the Sun (Britain's 'favourite' newspaper) anyway so I can just sit back with a tasty gag and a copy of Antoine de Saint- Exupery's classic tale.